It's the strangest feeling ever
You keep trying your best but it's just an arrested endeavour
So you buckle up, face the day
And try to make the ever-grey like heaven, like heaven

But it's all too easy, when you think you gotta kill somebody
Gotta be a joker and keep up a little Eurochat and
Stick your eager fang into a drunken Coronation Street, well
You know how it is?

Well, you've been out of your seat for way too long
You've got to get your trainer tapping to a different song
You know I can't do right for doing wrong, oh no

So it's best to relax, get drunk
Then the guys amplify and remind you that you've been a cunt
(Well, that don’t rhyme for a start)
If you open your mouth, the truth comes out
And no-one likes to hear that sort of stuff
So it's best just to relax and shut up
(Yeah, that's the best one!
No, that ain't never right
Yeah, that's the best thing to do)

Cut to someone laughing at a joke he heard before
But he don't want to be unpopular because he's got a big Cortina
Like to stick a pen into his shitty little grin and, you know
That would be funny

Well, you'll be away from it all and you don't belong
Unless your cock gets hard at a football song
You know I can't do right for doing wrong

Out of your seat, get
Out of your seat, get
Out of your seat, get
Out of your seat, get
Back in your seat, get
Back in your seat, get
Back in your seat, get
Back in your seat, get

Back among the things that we like, got a treat on the top
It isn't what you're knowing, it's a case of who you're blowing
Get your policy communicate, you've got your ticket to the case
So socially they'll let you be, so long as we can copulate
You wanna be a big shot? You better not start by saying
(I can't do right for doing wrong)
Yes please, stash, got my fingers in your pants
(I can't do right for doing wrong)
I'm gonna lick until I'm sick if you would just give me a chance
(I can't do right for doing wrong)
I'll be a good dog, prick me and you'll never be needing a dog again
(I can't do right for doing wrong)
Open wide
(I can't do right for doing wrong)
Yeah, yeah, open wide
(You know I can't do right for doing wrong)
Yeah, yeah, open wide
(You know I can't do right for doing wrong)
Yeah, yeah, open wide
(I can't do right for doing wrong)
No, no, no I can't
(I can't do right for doing wrong)
No, no, no I can't
(You know I can't do right for doing wrong)
No, no, no I can't
(You know I can't do right for doing wrong)
No, no, no I can't
(Can't do right for doing wrong)
No, no, no I can't
(Can't do right for doing wrong)
No, no, no I can't
(Can't do right for doing wrong)
No, no, no I can't
(I Can't do right for doing wrong)
No, no, no I can't
No, no, no I can't...